


Doubt

by tanyasm10



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Heith - Freeform, M/M, Sad Hunk, everyone needs a lance in their life, keith is kind of clueless but he's trying, this is slightly angsty i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 21:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12639555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanyasm10/pseuds/tanyasm10
Summary: Hunk wonders whether Keith truly wants to be in a relationship with him





	Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on my Tumblr in September I think? I don't quite remember but I do know that I loved how this turned out. It's slightly angsty but nothing too bad.

If there was one thing that Hunk had learned about Keith during their relationship it was that he was…intense.

Okay, there may be some falseness to that statement considering that one did not necessarily need to be in a relationship to know this. However, in being in a relationship with Keith Hunk discovered just… _how_ intense Keith was. When it came to _everything._

He hardly slept, heck Hunk figured that it was only because of him that Keith was sleeping at all. And even then it was only for a few hours at a time. He just always had to be doing something.

“What?” Hunk had asked one day when Keith had been taking a water break.

“I don’t know… _something_ ,” came the simple reply with a shrug before he gulped down his water and was off again, leaving Hunk to his own devices.

He was intense with his emotions too. Everybody had seen when Pidge had considered leaving Voltron the way Keith practically exploded. How strongly he felt about it.

Most of the times he internalised them, though. His emotions, that is. He felt them strongly, it was obvious, but he did all he could to keep a straight face and not betray any of it. Sometimes it made Hunk wonder if he really _did_ enjoy his company, or if he just kept him around.

He was intense during training too. Oh boy, was he ever. Hunk had appointed himself as a kind of spotter just to see if Keith was taking on more than he could handle. He couldn’t even count the amount of times he’d had to tear Keith away from the training room because he was overexerting himself, his body clearly protesting if the pained posture was anything to go by. Of course, when he did this he apologised profusely for manhandling him and practically begged Keith for forgiveness every time he put him down.

Yep, the pilot of the Red Lion was intense indeed. So it was rare when the two of them could just relax and have a night in without Keith itching to do something. It usually took a lot of pleas on Hunk’s part, most of them unsuccessful as Keith always had _something_ to do.

And because of this Hunk couldn’t help but feel…abandoned. Which was dumb because he had Lance who could talk to him for literal days about whether Han Solo or Jim Kirk was cooler (the answer was obviously Han Solo. Lance adamantly disagreed). And he worked on the castle-ship maintenance with Coran and Pidge all the time. And sometimes he, Allura and Shiro would meet up for some soothing tea of Hunk’s own concoction when the stress became too much and everybody needed to chill.

So there really wasn’t any reason for Hunk to feel this way. Keith had his ways; he was the strong, intense type, and Hunk was more outgoing and bubbly. It made no sense for Keith to compensate for him. Keith was busy and Hunk understood that, he just wished that in his busy schedule he’d take some time to relax because he wanted to hang out with Hunk, not because Hunk said so.

And maybe laugh more around him. Yeah, that’d be great.

“You know if you frown like that any longer your face might get stuck.”

Hunk looked up from his work (he was fine-tuning one of the castle-ship’s many engines) to see Lance smiling at him. But it wasn’t his normal shit-eating grin. In it was some well-hidden concern that only a trained eye could spot.

“I’m not frowning,” Hunk said quickly, putting a smile on his face. “Just…thinking deeply.”

A sceptical eyebrow raised. “Uh…yeah, and clearly you didn’t like whatever it is you were thinking about.”

Hunk sighed and resumed his work, not responding.

“So you wanna talk about it?” Lance prodded.

“You won’t wanna hear it,” he said.

“You’re kidding right? We’re best friends Hunk. Try me.”

Hunk paused again for a moment. “It’s about Keith.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Lance…”

“I’m sorry.” He motioned at Hunk to go on.

So Hunk told him everything that had been bothering him the past few weeks about Keith, but leaving out the more private details since he didn’t want Lance knowing about that stuff  even if he was his best friend. Lance listened with a keen ear and curious eyes as he tried to solve the problem.

“And…you don’t want to break up with him.” This was less of a question, but more him stating the obvious.

Hunk shook his head without hesitation. Keith was the man of Hunk’s dreams, and relationships required work. He knew this. He just…

“Wish it were easier?” Lance asked, like some kind of freaky psychic.

“You can read minds now?”

“Only yours. It’s a blessing and a curse, trust me. All I hear is you going on and on about some dumb machine thing, Keith, or whether that weird pink powder in the kitchen is a good substitute for baking soda.”

“First of all, it’s clearly magenta, and secondly how the heck can you read me so well?”

“Years of practice.” Lance shrugged. “Also, you wear your goddam heart on your sleeve. Not that that’s a bad thing. Between Keith, Pidge and Shiro you’re the only ray of light in my life. Never change, please.”

“What do you think I should do?”

“Have you ever tried…talking to him?”

“Have _you?_ ” Hunk joked with a chuckle. “Nah…I just, he doesn’t seem approachable about this kind of stuff, you know? Keith’s on this like…other plain of existence and I’m just,” he gestured his hands vaguely at himself. “You know? I’m lucky he even agreed to date me.”

“Hey, no, don’t talk like that. You’re not _just_ anything, alright? You’re Hunk Garrett. You can take apart and put together an engine for a ship _like that_. You can figure out what’s wrong with _any_ alien machinery, _alien machinery Hunk._   As in _stuff you’ve never seen in your entire existence on Earth.”_

“Yeah, but the concepts are similar-”

Lance interrupted him by placing his hands on either of his cheeks. “ _Alien. Machines._

“Not to mention,” he carried on, “You make the best food like, ever. Is there anything you _can’t_ do?”

Hunk spoke, his voice muffled, “Well, I don’t-”

“You. Made. Keith. Laugh. Nobody has ever made him laugh, let alone _that hard,_ ever.”

“You’re just saying—”

“What? The truth? Because it is!” Lance plopped himself next to Hunk, careful with all tools around him. “Hunk, you’re my best bro and it’s my job to remind you how cool you are when you forget it. You’re not lucky Keith agreed to date you. If anything, Keith’s lucky to have such a great, genuine soul like yours in his life. So what I say is you march up to the mullet head and tell him everything that’s bothering you, and if he’s even half as decent as you claim he is, he’s gonna listen.”

Hunk took in his words, feeling himself get warm at all the compliments Lance gave him. He knew he sold himself short sometimes, he really did. But it got hard to feel good about himself around Lance who just oozed a natural confidence, or Shiro who didn’t even have to _try_ to _be_ great, he just naturally was, or Keith who made a huge effort to be great. Even Pidge with her almost nonchalant outlook on life was almost enviable because she just…didn’t seem to care what others thought.

But Hunk cared. Hunk cared a lot.

And Lance could see that.

“Look, I know more than anyone how you feel, Hunk.” His tone was more serious now. “But I try to get over it, because I know beating myself up about these kinds of things isn’t gonna help anyone, especially not me. Everybody has something going for them, and Keith obviously saw something in you.”

“Thanks, Lance.”

“No worries,” Lance replied with a soft smile. “Just finish up over here and take a breather, alright? Keith isn’t the only one who likes to work too hard.”

The blue paladin patted him lightly on his shoulder before he stood up again and left the room, leaving Hunk alone once more with his thoughts.

He thought over their conversation, over everything Lance said, and figured that talking to Keith would be worth a shot. At the very least, it wouldn’t kill him.

-0O0-

Standing outside of Keith’s room, Hunk suddenly realised that thinking of talking to Keith and actually doing it were two completely different things. He could feel himself trembling.

This was dumb right? This was really dumb.

He sighed softly, rubbing his neck.

Lance was like the epitome of a Hype Man. Hunk knew this, he did, and yet he still allowed him to talk him up and make him feel good about himself only for it to crash and burn when it mattered most.

After another five minutes of standing outside Keith’s room contemplating his options, Hunk turned around to leave.

Of course, it was at that moment that the door opened and Keith’s much smaller frame slammed into Hunk’s. Hunk, large as he was, wasn’t particularly fazed by the impact but he managed to catch Keith who faltered slightly.

“Thanks,” Keith said, if not slightly breathless.

“No problem, man,” Hunk replied quickly before letting him go and promptly turning around again to leave, hoping Keith wouldn’t be smart enough to put two and two together.

“Wait!”

Hunk stopped, as though physically unable to go against whatever Keith said – which, mind you, wasn’t false.

“Why were you at my door?”

Hunk could feel himself get warmer. “I wasn’t _at_ your door. I just happened to walk by when you opened it.”

“Hunk, there’s literally nothing for you on this side of the castle-ship except me. What’s going on?”

The yellow paladin wondered why he even hoped that Keith wouldn’t figure him out. Keith practically read him like a book, everybody could. As Lance said before, he wore his heart on his sleeve.

“It’s dumb,” he said now.

“The fact that you said that just means that it isn’t.”

Though his tone and posture was stoic, Keith’s eyes held concern as they held onto Hunk’s warmer brown ones. It was an impromptu staring contest, one which Hunk lost pretty quickly as he glanced down and fidgeted with his fingers.

“Can we talk? In private?”

Keith’s eyes widened at the question and it was only then that Hunk realised the implication of his poorly formed sentence.

“I’m not breaking up with you, I swear! I mean…it’s not as bad as you think it is. It’s really…quite…dumb.” His voice got softer until it was barely above a whisper.

Keith opened his door once more after taking in his words, motioning for Hunk to head inside.

His room was spotless, save for his red jacket which was hanging on a hook in the corner. Keith didn’t have the desire to fill it with anything, preferring the bare walls and empty floor.

This, of course, was a stark contrast to Hunk’s room which he’d done as much as possible to make homely. It was slightly cluttered with weird contraptions he’d found on various planets and was tinkering with and books filled to the brim with recipes and edible plants from various planets in case he needed to forage. And every once in a while Lance got him something from strange places that he thought he’d like – shiny rocks, weird knobs, a feathery hat – and they were all displayed on a shelf that the yellow paladin himself had installed.

After being prompted, Hunk sat on the bed.

“What’s up?”

Hunk said nothing for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. “Keith, do you like me?”

Keith raised his eyebrow at this, obviously confused. “That’s how the dating thing works, right? Why are you asking? And don’t say it’s dumb.”

He wasn’t being patronising, he was never patronising when it came to Hunk. This was genuine concern and curiosity.

“It’s—” Hunk caught himself. “I just…feel like whenever we do anything together, it’s because of me. And I know you’re busy! You’ve got your training and Galra stuff to deal with, I know, but I just feel…unwanted. Like you’re too busy for _me._ Like you’ve got so much stuff occupying your mind that I barely ever cross it, and if that’s the case then what’s the point of this? What’s the point of us? Why do you keep me around if you obviously have so much else under your plate? Why don’t I get to hear you laugh? It’s just…”  He ran his hand through his hair, unaware that his yellow headband had caught within his fingers and fallen onto the floor.

“Hunk, calm down. Breathe, come on.”

Hunk had no idea he was trembling and breathing too quickly until Keith had taken his hands and held them tightly. They were slightly warm, which was not an unwelcome contrast to the coolness of the room.

For a while there were no words exchanged between the two. They just focused on getting Hunk’s breathing to become more regular and to deflect the mild anxiety attack.

The trembling ceased after a while and soon Hunk’s breathing was back to normal.

“Why didn’t you say anything if it was bothering you so much?” Keith asked a few minutes later.

“I don’t know, I just thought it was stupid.”

“Of course you would. You think anything that’s even remotely selfish is stupid.” The red paladin sighed. “Look, Hunk. You’re allowed to be selfish. You’re allowed to want things from me. You don’t have to compromise yourself for me _every single time_. It’s just…if I’d known you’d felt this way…God. You’ve already given me so much I’m an idiot for never returning the favour.

“You’re right, I do have a lot on my mind. But those times when you kind of take me away from it all, those are the times I forget about everything. Because you’re there and you make all that stuff disappear for a while. Because in those moments its just you and me.” Keith hesitated for a moment before he brought his hand up to caress Hunk’s cheek. “I’m really sorry. I’m bad at this relationship stuff, it’s all new to me. If I’m being completely honest, the only reason I don’t suggest anything for us to do together is because I don’t really have any ideas for fun activities. And you come up with amazing ones. It’s like you know exactly what I need when I need it, whether it’s baking, going for a walk or just spending a night in.”

Hunk leaned in to his touch. It was rare when Keith initiated contact like this. It was…nice. Usually Hunk had to be the one to start hugs or hand holding or soft caresses. It was clear that Keith was more than willing to start on the work.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated softly. “I love you.”

Hunk froze. Neither of them had ever uttered that sacred statement. Hunk had even thought that when the day came that they’d come around to finally say it, he’d be the first one to.

“I love you so much,” Keith emphasised. “And I know it feels like I don’t, especially with the way I act around you. But you’re everything to me Hunk. I promise to try harder, but I can’t do that if I don’t know you’re hurting.”

Swallowing back tears, the yellow paladin nodded. A soft smile graced Keith’s face as a result.

“Why don’t we ask Coran for one of those cheesy Altean movies?” he said. “I know how much you love them. We can watch it now, if you want?”

Hunk nodded again


End file.
